Ryou Bakura Tells It Like It Is
by Ringu no Touji
Summary: We all know who Ryou Bakura is the pale boy on the edge of the group, with the weird silver hair and the big, creepy brown eyes. Not to mention that weird Sennen no Ringu and the spirit inhabiting it.. But who can actually say they know him?


Authoress Jargon, Version Prior : After a very long absence from the World of Fan fiction, I've returned! Though, I don't think I'll be continuing ADoR for those that ever followed it. Yeaah, vampire!YGO Reader-insert/CYOA's have gotten a bit too overdone now, and I've become a rather irritated with a distinct lack of quality in them. I miss Ala, and AoA (though she uploaded a new fan fiction recently, Sennen Fling, and you should totally go read it if you read Millennium Bling), and everyone else I fawned and stalked over.. Though "Dead Man Walkin" is a good one to check out. Go look at it. I demand it of you, if you like that sort of thing..

Though, if you're here, you probably don't. But I'mma restate the warnings anyways! 8D This work of fiction contains - some uncanon facts, shonen-ai and yaoi content, a bit of 'Out of Character' behavior on the character's parts (though, with this lot, it's kind of hard to get them in character because of a lack of differing situations for them to be in), and opinionated, usually negative views of Yuugi-tachi. So if you like Mou Hitori no Yuugi and his groupies, you probably won't like this fiction, because Ryou is generally unhappy with them at all times, and the writer feels he is very justified in such behaviors.

Deep breaths, now. Anyways! Now that I've lost most of you, it's time to get on with the sho- Oh, wait, disclaimer.

Miss Lindsi Clark, a.k.a Pink Vampire, claims no ownership over any of the characters mentioned, Yu-Gi-Oh, or anything of the like. A few of the facts she has made up, however, and the story itself is hers (as far as she knows). Please don't sue her, she needs all of her money in funding to get pretty clothes to wear for her girlfriend and her cosplay, anime, and manga needs.

Heart to Floor Productions, a Registered Trademark of

Pink Vampire Corporation, is proud to present...

Ryou Bakura Tells It Like It Is

Dear Diary,

Oh, bloody hell, I sound like a girl already, don't I? Proper boys never admit to owning 'diaries', they always call them 'journals'. But then again, proper boys don't get threatened to have their hair sheered off by bullying teachers, either.

But that will come later, I suppose, because as my inanimate venting space, you at least deserve to know the basics before I get into such things. My name is Ryou Bakura, age 17, half Japanese and half English. I actually lived in England the six years my mother was alive and well, and the three years that Amane was with us. She doesn't live with us anymore, but I write her daily to let he know how I'm doing. My father? My father is a leading archaeologist, which means he's always halfway around the world kneeling in the dust with a pick and a makeup brush, hunting for artifacts. So I live here, in my small little apartment, alone except for Bakura. Who is, at the moment, trying very hard to be sneaky about reading over my shoulder. Hi, yami! I can see you in my mirror! Are Malik and Mariku-san not here yet?

He's so silly sometimes. You'll also notice he calls himself by my family name - and just so you know, we aren't related. Unless you consider reincarnation some twisted form of relations. His real name? He disowned it when he saw how thin and 'weak' my body was, and instead adopted the title of 'Yami no Bakura'. As in.. 'Darkness of Bakura', not 'Yami's Bakura'. Because everyone I know calls me by my family name (except for Malik and his 'yami', and his 'yami' only calls me 'BakuChan's hikari'.. so I wonder if he even knows my name..).It's really quite irritating, mostly because I'm the only one they do it to who doesn't prefer it. They even call Malik by his first name (something he says annoys him because he's still not very fond of most of them) and he terrifies every one of them except for Yuugi (too naive) and Pharaoh-san (too cocky)! Sigh. But I digress, I was originally talking about Bakura. Bakura is, essentially, the solidified spirit of a Tomb Thief from Egypt (we're still not quite sure how he came to be solidified, however, as we woke up staring at each other one day and have since just decided it was for some kind of twisted best), about 3,000 years old.

3,000, you may want to laugh, but it's true. Or, well.. he's somewhere around that age, anyways.. Pharaoh-san says 5,000, but he couldn't remember his own name, so I'm more inclined to believe Bakura even if he himself is a bit unbalanced. Mariku-san (Yami no Malik, if you want to be formal) and I agree this makes him cute, like some big fluffy psychotic bunny rabbit (Bakura himself isn't very thrilled with this agreement, however, as Mariku keeps trying to seduce him with a carrot). How did I obtain this 'haunting', you ask? Well, we'll pretend you ask, because thinking about this now, I almost have to write it out to believe it myself, and that he isn't really some delusion of mine.

He was, in all basics, a present from my father when I was seven. How? At the time he was trapped within our Sennen no Ringu (No, not the finger kind, unfortunately. It's rather like a large gaudy loop with a triangle in the center and - ...but what do you care?), as odd as that sounds. I was, of course, at the time unaware of this, so my childhood was spent with me positively elated and toddling about (falling over, more like) with the heavy artifact around my neck. It was about 8 years afterwards I became actually aware of Bakura inhabiting the ring, as it was around that period when he first spoke to me (in a bathroom, of all places!). Though he made good use of the time I had where I thought I was narcoleptic, sealing 15 souls into game pieces, stealing most of a department store, and forcing me through 3 different cities before I found Domino. Well, actually, Domino found me because I was traveling by bus at the time, and had run out of change for my bus fare, and was booted off with my luggage, but anyways!

From there, the Sennen no Puzzle and its owner and spirit appeared in my life to make everything so very confusing. You see, during those first few months, I thought I'd earned myself a wonderful, ever-lasting, close bond with Yuugi-tachi by nearly dying to save them from Bakura. And then almost dying for them again, twice. But no, obviously not, because here I sit listening to Mariku trying to rape Bakura for the umpteenth time, and Malik laughing in the background, while Yuugi-tachi gather at the Kame Game Shop for a pizza and movie party. Well, bully for them and their parties! Action and romance flicks are overrated, anyways, give me a good suspenseful horror movie any day, and the Troublesome Trio to enjoy it with (and perhaps get a chance to cling to Malik. My movie collection makes him jumpy, so..).

Oh! I've completely neglected to detail you on Malik, haven't I? You'll be hearing a lot about him, so I suppose I should tell you something for reference. Malik Ishtar is 18, of Egyptian descent (from a long line of Tomb Keepers, really), is my best friend since he moved to Japan last year and Yuugi-tachi threw him to the sideway like they did me (a real bonding experience, I think that was my first revenge plot ever). He's intelligent, graceful, witty, and absolutely, melt-in-your-mouth alive and beautiful. All sinewy, supple muscle and curve coated in toffee colored, flawless and smooth skin, platinum blond hair (which is actually blond unlike my own white-platinum) hair that is always in a mess that looks like he's just walked away from the best shag of his life to join us. The best of his features, however, are his eyes. They're absolutely fantastic, a soul-stealing shade of lavender so expressive that I could just get lost in them, drown in a field of lilacs without a care in the world.. Sigh. If you haven't guessed yet, I have a bit of a crush on Malik. Okay, okay - a lot of a crush. Enough of a crush I have to run and hide in the kitchen lest I pounce and ravish him when he occasionally walks in shirtless. He always laughs when I do that, rich and deep and seemingly endless, like he's laughing right now. Sigh, again.

I think that one was a bit too womanly... Why? Because Bakura has just stopped shouting at Mariku-san to stop doing whatever vile deed he's doing (last time I checked, his hands were trying to get into Bakura's jeans) and beating him with a pillow (the poor thing will probably need a repair job..) to announce I was 'having another erotic daydream'. I do not have 'erotic day dreams'! I was just.. thinking about how hopeless I am. Honestly. Anyways, as a closing statement, this is my usual life - I go to school, ace my tests, act as bully bait, and sit on the edge of Yuugi-tachi's desks during lunch hour, munching contently on the little bento that Bakura drags himself up to prepare for me every morning. No one believes me that he actually makes him, though, so they insist I'm doing it and just trying to make him look good. I have to wonder how they can still insist this when they've seen Bakura waltz in right before lunch with a still warm lunch and drop it off for me after I had to rush out to make it on time. These, of course, usually have adorably morbid little surprises inside - sometimes edible. Last time, it was a chibi Dark Necrofear dollie holding up a miniaturized, amazingly accurate head. Pharaoh-san's head, to be exact (Yuugi-tachi had a collective spaz fit at this, at which I had to fight not to laugh, and got a smirk from Kaiba-san). The head was actually made of sugar, so I ate it when they were all yelling at him for a snarky comment. It was delicious - I think part of his hair was strawberry frosting, and that's my guilty pleasure food so.. Bakura got the biggest thank you kiss after that one. He replied with one of his patented laschevious, cat-who-ate-the-cream smiles and drawled out an innocent 'well, now that I know you like to eat heads...' That made me laugh, something he does quite often. He's really not as bad as everyone seems to think, or really even as bad as he acts.

What's that? You thought I liked Malik? Well (Oh, god, look at me, I'm conversing with my di- journal), seeing as the 'yami' and 'hikari' are two halves of the same soul, there is an unusually strong bond between them that usually (well, it has for us, and for Mariku-san and Malik..) evolves into something sexual, or some kind of relationship. Though.. it's usually very open. Bakura actually, I believe, has a thing with Kaiba-san, but I have no proof on that as of yet. But more on that plan later, as I can hear footsteps coming down the hall (really, do they think they're sneaky?) and you and I have to hide.

Preferably separate.

Authoress Jargon, Version Post - Waha! xD After two days of telling myself I was going to type this up, it is COMPLETED. This is.. the first chapter of Ryou Bakura Tells it Like it Is, I hope you enjoyed it, because I had the best time writing it. I don't do humor enough. By the way, that's what this is supposed to be - so don't take anything seriously, and don't expect anything really serious to happen that isn't masked by some kind of lighthearted, slapstick, snarky joke. I'm going to try not to write this when I'm feeling down, either, soo.. Yeah. May go through periods of hold as my life's roller coaster rides onwards.

But anyways! I really hope you enjoyed this, feel free to drop me a review telling me if you did, etcetera, etcetera. Bye bye, lovelies! And remember, Pink Vampire will always pretend to love you! 83

Aus.


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